I've really been struggling with a lot of things this year. One of many things is wondering whether I'm confident and competitive enough to work in the world of the design. The simple answer in my opinion is no. The long winded answer, well, we'll get onto that.
I've never really been the competitive type at all, I do things because I enjoy them, not because I want to be the best at everything, I just don't live that way. Unless it's knowing the lyrics to a song, then I have to be the best. Ever since I started uni, my confidence was knocked when I saw colleagues and friends work. Now I know I shouldn't be pitting myself against people, but uni is important to me. After struggling in high school and college, finally getting to uni really made me feel amazing, but that didn't last all that long really. I used to be incredibly confident as a child, I don't know where it went to be honest.
But in the last few months, I decided that I didn't want to go down the design route in my professional career, I don't think I'm built for it, competition wise. I'm good at what I do and I have a range of skills that I've picked up over the years, but I don't really fancy the constant anxiety of comparing myself to other people's talents just because my work doesn't look the same. I think doing design and illustration as a side thing would be a lot more beneficial for me, since I love working with animals, that will probably be my main priority. So unfortunately I must say, to the professional world of graphic design, I'm Just Not That Into You.
Pictured above is my cat Amber, she's super unimpressed all the time